A Must For Monday!

Hello bloggers.

Today is Monday, I think the giveaway is at the top of this blog. But for the past few Mondays me and the Old Boy have been running together through the woods.  But not today.  He wasn't feeling it today!  Which means I am on my own.  My solo running mojo is still somewhat elusive, and it was a great effort for me to get out and do my run.  Especially when there was nando's mentioned!  Running, nandos, running....... If it was the nandos, then I was all set to run out the door right then then to do my running first, and miss my favourite soap on the t.v., Maybe my mojo is closer than I think! But even that was not an option in the end as the Old Boy decided he didn't really want that anyway!

So running it is, after my favourite soap had finished of course.  I was all set to go just after 7 o'clock.  I was going to run to Turpington lane and back.  Nothing to far just yet.  Next week I shall start to add a mile on to my regular runs......maybe.  But today, it's just this route.  Trying to find that zone, I could feel myself all tense as I was running, and kept having to 'shake it off' and relax my arms and shoulders.

The music that was going on in my ears was helping me to keep a nice even, steady pace and I decided to just enjoy my music, with my running as just a secondary thing that I had to do.  It was still quite muggy outside, it feels like it could be stormy.  I like a storm, when I am inside my house, but not when I am outside.  A bit of rain is fine too, just not that thunder and lightening!  That's what it feels like, a storm is a brewing!

I put all thoughts of storms away, I didn't want to talk myself out of doing a shorter run, blimey, it can't be any shorter really, can it!?  As usual I ran the first mile!  I can do that, I really can, it feels a lot harder these days, but I can do it! It's this mental thing of mine saying "You can't do two miles Old Girl" and then my legs hurt, my breathings goes haywire, and I start believing that evil little voice in my head!  "You can't do it, you're lazy!" I can hear the negative heckling going around my head as I give in to the walking!

That's fine, that's ok!  It's my age, it's because I haven't had a good lunch, it's because it's muggy!  I can find an excuse for not having an excuse!  I just need to do!  Let me tell you, it's a lot easier writing that down than it is to actually do it!  But I think what I got to look at, is.........I am here running, by myself!  I didn't succumb to the comfy armchair, nice cuppa and chocci biscuit!  Although, now that I have just written that, I may indulge after I have finished writing this!

Just to keep my psyche 'happy' I went the opposite way round the loop once I got to Holbrook.  Instead of going straight down to Turpington Lane I ran down Holbrook, into Magpie Hall Lane and then into Greenway.  There will be none of those mental stopping points now!  That's what I was hoping!  I managed to run all the along Greenway, something I haven't done for a while!  Maybe going in the opposite direction is slightly easier!  We shall see!

But that's the things, right there!  It's not easier! Arghhhh!  Mojo, where are you?  I am going to have to sign up for a race!  That's all there is too it!  I need a goal, I won't say challenge, because really, challenges scare the pants off me!  I hate letting people down, or myself!  But I will get a race going!

So the end of my run today, and I was beating myself up bad!  "You shouldn't have stopped, you should keep running, what on earth were you thinking" were the thoughts going around my head!  Who needs a Naggy Neighbour or Old Boy or even a Bims (aka Nagging Sister) to nag me, I am my own worse nag ever!  I even get violent with myself, the whole slapped ass was going on as I was walking it out around the green, even having my eyes brimming, just slightly, but that could be sweat that was pouring from me, getting into my eyes and stinging!  You gotta do better! I can do better......I will do better!

I know I worked hard today, I know I did.  You know that noise that your clothes make, just after you come back from a run in the most torrential rain.  You pull your clothes off and you get that 'schhhllluuup' sound as you peel them off!  Well my clothes sounded like that.......and it wasn't even raining!  That's how much I was sweating! Still......could do better!

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